This picture is not of me, naturally. Thank you google images.
I ran home and did five more, two of which involved falling down into a hard-landing summersault. I can only hold it for about five seconds...but this is just to say that I did one!
Friday, December 17, 2010
this is just to say...
that last night in my new favorite yoga class, I did a headstand.
This picture is not of me, naturally. Thank you google images.
I ran home and did five more, two of which involved falling down into a hard-landing summersault. I can only hold it for about five seconds...but this is just to say that I did one!
This picture is not of me, naturally. Thank you google images.
I ran home and did five more, two of which involved falling down into a hard-landing summersault. I can only hold it for about five seconds...but this is just to say that I did one!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
motivation
Yesterday I opened my office door to inspiration.
Actually, I opened my office door to Ray's wife, an elderly woman with a Christmas sweater and knee trouble. She brought a bag of cheese-balls, three newspapers, and a sharp sense of humor with her into our tiny space and settled into the leather chair in the corner. She was waiting for her husband to finish his volunteer shift. Her knee kept her from working the floor. She sat quietly in the corner while Aaron, Allison and I dashed in and out, told stories, answered phones, laughed and vented.
Then I found myself talking. She and I were alone. She asked me the usual questions. Where did I go to school? Where does my family live? Do I like Baltimore...and then, what was my major.
What was my major? English Language and Literature, with a bit of Creative Writing dabbled in. Writing.
I always hesitate when asked around here what I studied. It seems to foreign from the rush of setting up and serving an 800-person meal daily. For four years I curled up with stacks of books, notebook paper and two or three (or four) cups of tea and churned out essays, reports, poetry, reviews and journal entries by the binderfull.
I love writing. I used to fill up a thick journal every year. Now I'm writing maybe a page a week.
But not for long!
As it turns out, our visitor is a writer. She has written four books and currently writes and edits children's text books. She told me to write. She told me to write for 15-20 minutes a day. Write anything, she said. Write about the volunteers, about the people you meet. Write essays and journal entries and poems. Write stories. The more you write, the better you will write.
I know these things.
I know that when I go to yoga four times a week I do better, am stronger, and feel better than when I go once or twice a week. I know that when I paint and draw every day the colors and form come out more true and rich than when my sketchbooks sit in the box by my bed, neglected for days.
There's something different between knowing that and knowing how, as Bethany would say.
This year I will know how. Is it too early to make resolutions? My resolution is to be strong. I will be a braver artist, a deeper writer and a stronger yogini. Daily. Thank you Mrs. Ray. You stepped in for a minute and reminded me that some days are about waking up at 6am to write, just so it is there. Some days are driven to last till midnight, surrounded by paints and charcoal on my bedroom floor. Without discipline, skill remains small and weak. Thank you for your motivation.
Actually, I opened my office door to Ray's wife, an elderly woman with a Christmas sweater and knee trouble. She brought a bag of cheese-balls, three newspapers, and a sharp sense of humor with her into our tiny space and settled into the leather chair in the corner. She was waiting for her husband to finish his volunteer shift. Her knee kept her from working the floor. She sat quietly in the corner while Aaron, Allison and I dashed in and out, told stories, answered phones, laughed and vented.
Then I found myself talking. She and I were alone. She asked me the usual questions. Where did I go to school? Where does my family live? Do I like Baltimore...and then, what was my major.
What was my major? English Language and Literature, with a bit of Creative Writing dabbled in. Writing.
I always hesitate when asked around here what I studied. It seems to foreign from the rush of setting up and serving an 800-person meal daily. For four years I curled up with stacks of books, notebook paper and two or three (or four) cups of tea and churned out essays, reports, poetry, reviews and journal entries by the binderfull.
I love writing. I used to fill up a thick journal every year. Now I'm writing maybe a page a week.
But not for long!
As it turns out, our visitor is a writer. She has written four books and currently writes and edits children's text books. She told me to write. She told me to write for 15-20 minutes a day. Write anything, she said. Write about the volunteers, about the people you meet. Write essays and journal entries and poems. Write stories. The more you write, the better you will write.
I know these things.
I know that when I go to yoga four times a week I do better, am stronger, and feel better than when I go once or twice a week. I know that when I paint and draw every day the colors and form come out more true and rich than when my sketchbooks sit in the box by my bed, neglected for days.
There's something different between knowing that and knowing how, as Bethany would say.
This year I will know how. Is it too early to make resolutions? My resolution is to be strong. I will be a braver artist, a deeper writer and a stronger yogini. Daily. Thank you Mrs. Ray. You stepped in for a minute and reminded me that some days are about waking up at 6am to write, just so it is there. Some days are driven to last till midnight, surrounded by paints and charcoal on my bedroom floor. Without discipline, skill remains small and weak. Thank you for your motivation.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
All This Beauty
All this beauty,
You might have to close your eyes
And slowly open wide.
All this beauty, we traveled all night.
We drank the ocean dry,
And watched the sun rise.
You can ask about it, but nobody knows the way.
No breadcrumb trail to follow through your days.
It takes an axe, sometimes a feather,
In the sunshine and bad weather.
It's a matter of getting deeper in, any way you can.
All this beauty,
You might have to close your eyes
And slowly open wide.
All this beauty, we traveled all night.
We drank the ocean dry,
And watched the sun rise.
I can see you're new awake.
Let me assure you friend:
Every day is ice cream and chocolate cake,
And what you make of it, let me say
You get what you take from it so be amazed,
And never stop, never stop, never stop
You gotta be brave.
'Cause all this beauty,
You might have to close your eyes
And slowly open wide,
And watch the sun rise.
You might have to close your eyes
And slowly open wide.
All this beauty, we traveled all night.
We drank the ocean dry,
And watched the sun rise.
You can ask about it, but nobody knows the way.
No breadcrumb trail to follow through your days.
It takes an axe, sometimes a feather,
In the sunshine and bad weather.
It's a matter of getting deeper in, any way you can.
All this beauty,
You might have to close your eyes
And slowly open wide.
All this beauty, we traveled all night.
We drank the ocean dry,
And watched the sun rise.
I can see you're new awake.
Let me assure you friend:
Every day is ice cream and chocolate cake,
And what you make of it, let me say
You get what you take from it so be amazed,
And never stop, never stop, never stop
You gotta be brave.
'Cause all this beauty,
You might have to close your eyes
And slowly open wide,
And watch the sun rise.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
i can't get no satisfaction
Yesterday I bought a new nail polish at Urban Outfitters. They were having a sale and my nails are finally long enough to show off. Yoga made me stop biting my nails. Enough time in Downward Facing Dog staring at my hands and I couldn't help but stop. I've been itching for a nice opaque nail color for about two weeks.
Still, it was pretty expensive polish.
I fluctuate. Some days I step off into freedom. I am unbound by material things. I wear my ratty jeans and my big brown sweater (again) and paint and take walks and poke around in my potted plants. I give away clothes. I make all of my Christmas gifts from scraps of this and that that I found at the Book Thing or collaged from free magazines. I curl up in bed and read Thomas Merton, and wander home at midnight from a communist dance. I turn off the faucet while I brush my teeth, and only buy Kiss My Face natural deodorant. I grow long leg hair. I walk barefoot on the sticky kitchen floor and don't care.
Other days I am bound. The binding is its own freedom. Soft faux-leather boots, wooden-heeled and stormy grey, arrive in the mail. The right nail colors and vintage pendants clutter my beureo. I feel released by knowing I am right. I know that this and that are perfect together. That my new dusty blue blouse and these black skinny pants are it. Maybe I should run an extra load of laundry just for these two pairs of paints to be the right kind of tight when I wear them again. I love my perfume. I drink. Red wine, margaritas, beer...I buy the wrong kind of mascara and wonder how much of a budget break it would be to spend another $7 on the right kind. I brush my hand along the row of shiny Venus razors at Rite Aid and drop 50 extra dollars on the artsy glasses frames.
Looking at my fingers now, I am glad I bought the polish. Is gladness (read: happiness) what I'm after?
Still, it was pretty expensive polish.
I fluctuate. Some days I step off into freedom. I am unbound by material things. I wear my ratty jeans and my big brown sweater (again) and paint and take walks and poke around in my potted plants. I give away clothes. I make all of my Christmas gifts from scraps of this and that that I found at the Book Thing or collaged from free magazines. I curl up in bed and read Thomas Merton, and wander home at midnight from a communist dance. I turn off the faucet while I brush my teeth, and only buy Kiss My Face natural deodorant. I grow long leg hair. I walk barefoot on the sticky kitchen floor and don't care.
Other days I am bound. The binding is its own freedom. Soft faux-leather boots, wooden-heeled and stormy grey, arrive in the mail. The right nail colors and vintage pendants clutter my beureo. I feel released by knowing I am right. I know that this and that are perfect together. That my new dusty blue blouse and these black skinny pants are it. Maybe I should run an extra load of laundry just for these two pairs of paints to be the right kind of tight when I wear them again. I love my perfume. I drink. Red wine, margaritas, beer...I buy the wrong kind of mascara and wonder how much of a budget break it would be to spend another $7 on the right kind. I brush my hand along the row of shiny Venus razors at Rite Aid and drop 50 extra dollars on the artsy glasses frames.
Looking at my fingers now, I am glad I bought the polish. Is gladness (read: happiness) what I'm after?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
what's your type?
For community night we are talking Myers Briggs. We're all taking the test, and then chatting about it over Pumpkin Lasagna and laughs. I took my test, and as some of you know, I'm an ENFJ. A little E a LOT N, a little F and barely J.
Here's some things about me:
"ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this."...aw, that's sweet...or:
"They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments...The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves."
So, what are you? Take it and let me know!
Here's some things about me:
"ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this."...aw, that's sweet...or:
"They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments...The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves."
So, what are you? Take it and let me know!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Our computer lab is crowded. People, people's bags, people's tiredness and anxiety, the fog. Tension is high. Being wet puts everyone on edge. Unlike many of our guests, I have somewhere warm, dry, and happy to go this afternoon, and something to do with my evening that puts me one step ahead of sleepy unhappiness. I am unsettled, but ok. I have already listened to two arguments while leaning over the copier, pulling the forgotten office code from the muscle memories in my right hand. I have rushed back and forth from my office to the copier five times. I am busy. The copy machine smells warm and sour. Our paper cutter could be sharper. And I've finally figured out the fax machine. Wearing a button up shirt helps.
I walk down the hall again. Someone is hissing into the telephone at the corner. He f***ing knows he told her...
There are 10 people hunched over the blue lit computers. Someone else is trying to upload their resume. The computers are so slow. I pause. Right in front of me, the last guest, another damp, steaming man in blue, is on Windows Paint. His screen is blue and green, a picture of an almost-factory, smoke billowing from three slanting blue smokestacks into a green sky. He clicks, etching in white on the blue foundation - "Dig Deep".
Do I need to tie this up with a bow? He clicks off and goes back to gmail. I make another copy and try to burn off the fog with multiple cups of tea and honey and his smoky, cyber-drawing tags along all day.
I walk down the hall again. Someone is hissing into the telephone at the corner. He f***ing knows he told her...
There are 10 people hunched over the blue lit computers. Someone else is trying to upload their resume. The computers are so slow. I pause. Right in front of me, the last guest, another damp, steaming man in blue, is on Windows Paint. His screen is blue and green, a picture of an almost-factory, smoke billowing from three slanting blue smokestacks into a green sky. He clicks, etching in white on the blue foundation - "Dig Deep".
Do I need to tie this up with a bow? He clicks off and goes back to gmail. I make another copy and try to burn off the fog with multiple cups of tea and honey and his smoky, cyber-drawing tags along all day.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
to be said in one breath
Thank you for your interest in volunteering!
Right now our weekends are full for volunteers. We do have a daily shift, Monday through Friday from 9am-1pm, where we need volunteers. We can use volunteers both in our employment services and our meal service, especially during the week before and the week after Christmas. Unfortunately at this time we don't have any evening or weekend spots available. If you are able to schedule weekends in 2011 we would be happy to set you up with some dates.
Please let me know if any weekdays during our 9-1 shift work for you. If not, we would be glad to schedule you for some 2011 weekends.
Thanks again for your interest in volunteering.
Right now our weekends are full for volunteers. We do have a daily shift, Monday through Friday from 9am-1pm, where we need volunteers. We can use volunteers both in our employment services and our meal service, especially during the week before and the week after Christmas. Unfortunately at this time we don't have any evening or weekend spots available. If you are able to schedule weekends in 2011 we would be happy to set you up with some dates.
Please let me know if any weekdays during our 9-1 shift work for you. If not, we would be glad to schedule you for some 2011 weekends.
Thanks again for your interest in volunteering.
Friday, October 8, 2010
when dreams follow
I am slow, and deep-breathing.
I hold in the rhythm of sleep,
still steeped in strange moments
that had me convinced of their possibility.
Even while walking through these first motions,
a shower, breakfast, tea,
before true daytime arrives,
I feel in the hollow of my chest the ache
of stories that followed me into waking life.
I hold in the rhythm of sleep,
still steeped in strange moments
that had me convinced of their possibility.
Even while walking through these first motions,
a shower, breakfast, tea,
before true daytime arrives,
I feel in the hollow of my chest the ache
of stories that followed me into waking life.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
salad inspiration
so...it's chilly today. i've been cooking soups, spicy indian food, and cake. cold weather food. but what about salad? apparently veg new thinks that salads are still a great idea, and after reading their article i am inclinded to believe.
here's a blast from the past.
here's a blast from the past.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
namaste
yesterday i went to this church. 
The sermon was titled "namaste", and the paster challenged us: what if every time we greeted one another we looked for the god in them, the godliness that was placed there when we were made.
how beautiful.
"the godliness in me greets the godliness in you" - namaste.
The sermon was titled "namaste", and the paster challenged us: what if every time we greeted one another we looked for the god in them, the godliness that was placed there when we were made. how beautiful.
"the godliness in me greets the godliness in you" - namaste.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
freedom!
everything in baltimore is free.
while that's not exactly true, i want you to check out some of these links to get an idea of how absolutely zany this free city is.
The Free School (i was took a pretty nifty class here)
The Free Farm
The Free Store
The Book Thing (read: free)
so...yeah.
while that's not exactly true, i want you to check out some of these links to get an idea of how absolutely zany this free city is.
The Free School (i was took a pretty nifty class here)
The Free Farm
The Free Store
The Book Thing (read: free)
so...yeah.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Perhaps the World Ends Here
by Joy Harjo
The world begins at a kitchen table. No matter what,
we must eat to live.
The gifts of earth are brought and prepared, set on the
table so it has been since creation, and it will go on.
We chase chickens or dogs away from it. Babies teethe
at the corners. They scrape their knees under it.
It is here that children are given instructions on what
it means to be human. We make men at it,
we make women.
At this table we gossip, recall enemies and the ghosts
of lovers.
Our dreams drink coffee with us as they put their arms
around our children. They laugh with us at our poor
falling-down selves and as we put ourselves back
together once again at the table.
This table has been a house in the rain, an umbrella
in the sun.
Wars have begun and ended at this table. It is a place
to hide in the shadow of terror. A place to celebrate
the terrible victory.
We have given birth on this table, and have prepared
our parents for burial here.
At this table we sing with joy, with sorrow.
We pray of suffering and remorse.
We give thanks.
Perhaps the world will end at the kitchen table,
while we are laughing and crying,
eating of the last sweet bite.
from: Reinventing the Enemy's Language.
Edited by Joy Harjo and Gloria Bird.
New York: Norton, 1997.
The world begins at a kitchen table. No matter what,
we must eat to live.
The gifts of earth are brought and prepared, set on the
table so it has been since creation, and it will go on.
We chase chickens or dogs away from it. Babies teethe
at the corners. They scrape their knees under it.
It is here that children are given instructions on what
it means to be human. We make men at it,
we make women.
At this table we gossip, recall enemies and the ghosts
of lovers.
Our dreams drink coffee with us as they put their arms
around our children. They laugh with us at our poor
falling-down selves and as we put ourselves back
together once again at the table.
This table has been a house in the rain, an umbrella
in the sun.
Wars have begun and ended at this table. It is a place
to hide in the shadow of terror. A place to celebrate
the terrible victory.
We have given birth on this table, and have prepared
our parents for burial here.
At this table we sing with joy, with sorrow.
We pray of suffering and remorse.
We give thanks.
Perhaps the world will end at the kitchen table,
while we are laughing and crying,
eating of the last sweet bite.
from: Reinventing the Enemy's Language.
Edited by Joy Harjo and Gloria Bird.
New York: Norton, 1997.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
They say this has been a dry, hot summer for Baltimore. Temperatures have reached 90 most days here and I believe them. My room is cool, but when I crack my window to slip out onto my fire escape I quickly find myself shedding layers and holding still as possible, pressed down by the damp heat.
This morning I woke up to the breathing of rain. I had to listen, half sitting up, to know it was there. The house felt as though it’d been wrapped around by the falling water, holding the sleepers in.
This morning I moved quietly through brushing my teeth and rolling the cuff of my jeans, through cutting up a peach and rustling through the first pages of a new book. Rain keeps noises closer to their source. I didn’t hear my housemate in the kitchen until she unwrapped a granola bar. Three of us had plans to go to the farmers market today. There is something about leaving a house in the morning to go into the rain. There’s a deep pause at the door, the wrestling with the umbrella, and a breaking out that seals the warm dryness in behind. We dressed for the wet and wandered through the slantways rain, finding people reusable bags tucked under their arms to follow. I counted umbrellas and breathed in the cleanness.
This morning I woke up to the breathing of rain. I had to listen, half sitting up, to know it was there. The house felt as though it’d been wrapped around by the falling water, holding the sleepers in.
This morning I moved quietly through brushing my teeth and rolling the cuff of my jeans, through cutting up a peach and rustling through the first pages of a new book. Rain keeps noises closer to their source. I didn’t hear my housemate in the kitchen until she unwrapped a granola bar. Three of us had plans to go to the farmers market today. There is something about leaving a house in the morning to go into the rain. There’s a deep pause at the door, the wrestling with the umbrella, and a breaking out that seals the warm dryness in behind. We dressed for the wet and wandered through the slantways rain, finding people reusable bags tucked under their arms to follow. I counted umbrellas and breathed in the cleanness.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
a project
my second day at Our Daily Bread and i already have a project! in between memorizing over 100 volunteer's names, keeping track of who is new, getting people chopping and setting, giving orientation, entering volunteers into the database, checking phone messages, calling back potential volunteers, making phone calls looking for more volunteers, solving problems on the floor, making the computer lab volunteer rounds, answering questions, tracking donations, planning the next day, planning the next week, and smoozing with the employees i am going to be working on resolving our involvement with the Hamilton Crop Circle .
every sunday ODB receives farmer's market leftovers. this week it looked like: a bin of tomatoes, a bin of squash, two bins of greens, a bin of tomatoes and squash, a bin of pears, two bins of apples, a bin of green peppers, squash and eggplant, and two bins of corn. the program also donated eight 50lb bags of green beans and the same of potatoes. this week they just sat there. yesterday, amidst bins of (literally) rotting fruit my supervisor told me of his vision. this summer volunteers manned the delicious fruit and veggies, sorting and prepping it for the line and the chef. see, in order for ODB to serve 700 meals a day, the chef and line volunteers are prepping as fast as they can from 8am till serving time at 10:30. they don't have time for sorting shriveled green peppers and scooping rot out of yellow squash. the produce is beautiful on sunday, but by the time wednesday rolls around it's looking pretty bad. there is some serious foot dragging about the process of getting enough volunteers on this job but the benefits are obvious. the farmers market give ODB the produce and less of it gets thrown away. we are recycling. produce is expensive. while ODB tries to serve nutritious meals every day (they have a mean vegetarian platter) they can't afford to buy produce the quality of the farm-fresh bins received from hamilton. also, our 500 guests can't buy a lot of fresh produce either. some of them insist that that's just fine for them, they don't like veggies anyway, but others love it. after a rigorous clipping and cleaning of 50lbs of green beans today, i watched many guests chowing down on heaping scoops of steamed green beans and kidney beans. i believe that if only 50 people enjoy their plate of fresh and healthy food all of the sorting, cleaning and chopping is worth it. like the chef, cedric said "it don't matter what they do with it once we give it to 'em, we just gotta get it out there".
get it out there! i am glad there's something else to be excited about at this job. all aspects of it are great, but this one i think is going to be particularly rewarding.
on another note, i got my library book today! time for a little cozy reading.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
our picnic
baltimore is sunny and hot. on first thursdays there are lovely free concerts in the park. the park fills up with art students and little families. our little family went too. we packed a picnic dinner (salad night!) and trekked up the hill to the park. the music was ok, the food delicious, the company joyful and the people watching divine (my favorite was my new little friend named charlie).
Thursday, September 2, 2010
found this on a dear cousin's page
these are some interesting articles. naturally, i don't know exactly what i think about stars making a splash in the fair trade world. are they for publicity articles like these? of course some of this philanthropy has brought a lot of change in the past. we'll see how it goes.
Monday, August 30, 2010
plans now to paint a tree on the wall. how exciting. trees are lovely. baltimore is pretty green and we have a roof! i'm going to make a lovely little garden on it.
here's a thought:
"The journey to health, wholeness, sanity, well-being, happiness - is all one. It is all a journey of self-love (or love of God, love of life - love is the key word). As we learn to love ourselves better we naturally tend towards better habits. And sometimes this self-love can come through self-discovery, which can come to us through our search for health, wholeness, sanity, well-being, happiness. If searching is the chicken and self-love is the egg, we can tap in at either point of this endless upward spiral cycle."
here's a thought:
"The journey to health, wholeness, sanity, well-being, happiness - is all one. It is all a journey of self-love (or love of God, love of life - love is the key word). As we learn to love ourselves better we naturally tend towards better habits. And sometimes this self-love can come through self-discovery, which can come to us through our search for health, wholeness, sanity, well-being, happiness. If searching is the chicken and self-love is the egg, we can tap in at either point of this endless upward spiral cycle."
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
from a little inspirational email:
There is a Buddhist Concept - "I do not take more than I need", that gives me great peace. It is a simple way of being. Just contemplating it seems to make one feel lighter, and more free.
today (and yesterday, and this week) my own consumerism has been coming more and more to light. once upon a time i toyed with the idea of getting "leave nothing but footprints" tattooed on my feet. how beautiful would it be if a person could reduce their own consumption to the point of sustainability? this year during Earth Week i watched "no impact man", a film about a man and his family who reduce their impact on the earth dramatically. his transition was anything but peaceful, and being a documentary there was a lot of focus on the drama between him and his wife. still, it made a lovely point.
i have been a consumer this summer. while i have been careful, i have also lost the peace that comes with underindulging myself. a person who has just what they need is so beautiful. there is tension between being in want and having too much. to find the place between those two and rest there...that is lovely.
my nature wants to start making lists here. what can i give up? how can i consume less? that too robs me of peace. to make a peaceful step toward wanting less, needing less, and consuming less will be in itself a challenge. goals and routines aside, i am hoping that this transition time will help me move in that direction.
i will see many of you soon!
today (and yesterday, and this week) my own consumerism has been coming more and more to light. once upon a time i toyed with the idea of getting "leave nothing but footprints" tattooed on my feet. how beautiful would it be if a person could reduce their own consumption to the point of sustainability? this year during Earth Week i watched "no impact man", a film about a man and his family who reduce their impact on the earth dramatically. his transition was anything but peaceful, and being a documentary there was a lot of focus on the drama between him and his wife. still, it made a lovely point.
i have been a consumer this summer. while i have been careful, i have also lost the peace that comes with underindulging myself. a person who has just what they need is so beautiful. there is tension between being in want and having too much. to find the place between those two and rest there...that is lovely.
my nature wants to start making lists here. what can i give up? how can i consume less? that too robs me of peace. to make a peaceful step toward wanting less, needing less, and consuming less will be in itself a challenge. goals and routines aside, i am hoping that this transition time will help me move in that direction.
i will see many of you soon!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Queen
You told me that the sun had made you
black. In your face I could see the legacy
of a million queens and I knew that it must have been
our forever bent toward eternal fire that made you.
And when you lifted nine whole fingers,
telling us of your tribe and royal parentage,
both lost somewhere between this benchless park
and insanity, I believed you.
Like a volcano, like Iceland you said,
your last finger, your soul, your life in this city
erupted in to poetry, into rhythm
spoken by the fevered hungry who crouch
beneath liberty's yellow flag
(yellow was the color of your tribe), and sway.
They sway to make the world begin to turn
closer to the sun, burning our skin,
burning our memories of royal heritage until
forgotten you approached a group of strangers,
speaking swift poetry, lost, for want
of a reality that matched your burning dreams.
black. In your face I could see the legacy
of a million queens and I knew that it must have been
our forever bent toward eternal fire that made you.
And when you lifted nine whole fingers,
telling us of your tribe and royal parentage,
both lost somewhere between this benchless park
and insanity, I believed you.
Like a volcano, like Iceland you said,
your last finger, your soul, your life in this city
erupted in to poetry, into rhythm
spoken by the fevered hungry who crouch
beneath liberty's yellow flag
(yellow was the color of your tribe), and sway.
They sway to make the world begin to turn
closer to the sun, burning our skin,
burning our memories of royal heritage until
forgotten you approached a group of strangers,
speaking swift poetry, lost, for want
of a reality that matched your burning dreams.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
in a cafe today
first: how can i find a better way to make these thoughts permanent? my life is a random shambles of scraps of paper ideas floating around.
second: the well coiffed young lady behind me was just speaking in Russian on the phone.
third: the girl outside the window has her nails painted the same shade of faded pink as her cigarette box (this thought was actually first)
fourth: there is a congregation of greenpeace kids (students? volunteers?) sitting outside on a break. they have been combing this area for doners for the last two hours.
fifth: no matter how good the book is, it is hard to read when you really really have to pee.
second: the well coiffed young lady behind me was just speaking in Russian on the phone.
third: the girl outside the window has her nails painted the same shade of faded pink as her cigarette box (this thought was actually first)
fourth: there is a congregation of greenpeace kids (students? volunteers?) sitting outside on a break. they have been combing this area for doners for the last two hours.
fifth: no matter how good the book is, it is hard to read when you really really have to pee.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Yesterday I decided to go to the MOMA. Every regular day it’s an $18 admission but, on the first Tuesday of every month it’s FREE! I put my happy little camera in my pocket, laced up my new shoes, sent my group off on a City Search and started the walk. It’s about a mile down Market to Third St. from Civic Center. The MOMA is tucked off to the side across from a ½ block of fountains that were also very beautiful.
At the door a red-bearded guy was handing out tickets. I checked my (too)heavy bag – what a relief, I love places that take my bag for me – and wandered up the huge staircase. Oddly enough there was a little bit of a line to get onto the stairs because there was a lady there checking tickets. I kind of wanted to tell her look lady, it’s free today, did you miss the memo? But no, she was checking tickets, so I showed her mine (it said ADULT $18 on it so I guess that made her happy) and got in.
My tour started swimmingly when the first room I drifted into featured a Frieda Khalo and Diego Rivera side by side, both painted while they visited San Francisco. I drift through art museums. The tiny type-A portion of my brain tries to scope out the layout of museums, hitting every single room and a frenzy to see everything. I try to squelch that part. Instead I drift. I linger in front of pieces that capture my attention and usually if there’s a bench I take it as a sign to sit and absorb the paintings in that room, even if I wouldn’t have otherwise. I get mesmerized by some amazing stuff that way.
The WORHOL exhibit was up, filling up the third floor. I had never seen a Worhol before, and here were dozens of them! Fabulous.
I also found myself absorbed by the people who were looking at the art. There were all kinds of people wandering around. I think the free admission drew people that might otherwise not have been able to fork out the admission cost. The people walking the museum alone were the most interesting. They were from all different ages and backgrounds and were just being consumed by looking at art. Everyone there was so fascinating and the art pieces themselves took were different pieces altogether when seen through the people watching them. I sat beside one man for a while looking at this (link coming soon!) piece. He sat as thought He was waiting for the piece to move. And it did! I found myself flooded by the orange ambiance. The tension between the purple and orange pulled me in. I think the man I was sitting beside felt it too. We sat for a while, just looking.
It’s funny that these pieces are just hanging in the MOMA. It’s funny that on most days of the week people need to pay outrageous amounts of money to go see them. And it’s funny that people do it. Even though it was a free day, the people there were paying something. They paid what it cost them to get there, they paid the cost of time, they walked around in huge circles, up and down stairs, looking at art just hanging there on white walls. A dear art professor once told a class of mine that art is very rarely painted to hang in museums. Much of the great art in the world has spent much of its life hanging in living rooms, studies, and private art rooms. With the evolution of the museum art became public. I can wander into a room and look at a Khalo, Revira, Picasso, and Matisse within ten minutes. Is it beautiful, or is it a corruption of the artwork? Like I mentioned, art’s environment changes it. I looked at Rivera’s Laborers differently alone n a white wall than when, hanging on that same wall, a little boy steps in front and is told by his Spanish-speaking mother that they have a print of that piece at home. It would, of course, look much different in its original standing, shouting out to the reality of common laborers as people, worthwhile subjects for a famous piece.
Well, that’s about all I have to say about art this morning. I’m going to the food bank with my kids today, then Harbor House Day Camp (yay!) then we have our last Host and Directors family dinner tonight…yipes!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
what in the what the?
You have the right to look ridiculous. Check out this CRAZY nypost article!
"A Bronx judge has thrown out a summons issued against a Bronx man for wearing saggy pants, finding that "the Constitution still leaves some opportunity for people to be foolish if they so desire."
Judge Ruben Franco said that although Julio Martinez may have offended the fashion police with his low-hanging and underwear-exposing pants, his manner of dress didn't deserve a ticket from a cop.
"While most of us may consider it distasteful, and indeed foolish, to wear one's pants so low as to expose the underwear . . . people can dress as they please, wear anything, so long as they do not offend public order and decency," the judge wrote.
ASININE: New Yorkers like this one can wear their pants on the ground and fear only the fashion police -- not the city police.
Robert Kalfus
ASININE: New Yorkers like this one can wear their pants on the ground and fear only the fashion police -- not the city police.
Martinez was given his summons for disorderly conduct on April 20 of last year.
The summons by the unidentified police officer charged that Martinez had acted in a disorderly manner because he had "his pants down below his buttocks exposing underwear [and] potentially showing private parts."
There was no other reason listed for the ticket besides Martinez's pants, and Franco noted: "The issuance of this summons appears to be an attempt by one police officer to show his displeasure with a particular style of dress."
The officer has plenty of company -- the sloppy look has been the subject of derision from people ranging from Bill Cosby to President Obama, and the super-low rider has been banned in numerous towns across the country.
In New York, the boxers-baring look has been the subject of a targeted campaign by state Sen. Eric Adams of Brooklyn, who put up billboards urging youngsters to "Stop the Sag." He has said he doesn't want to criminalize saggy pants -- he just wants youngsters to know it's time to send the fashion trend the way of the legwarmer.
"You can raise your level of respect if you raise your pants," Adams said in a YouTube video.
The judge's decision said the "trend of wearing pants well below the waistline is believed to have its roots in this country's prison system where inmates are issued uniforms which are often too big and the wearing of belts is prohibited due to safety concerns."
While there have been efforts to outlaw the look around the country, Franco wrote, "New York has no such legislation."
That means in Martinez's case, the officer apparently overstepped his bounds by giving him a summons for disorderly conduct.
To meet that standard, the offensive conduct must be "public in nature and must cause inconvenience, annoyance, or alarm to a substantial segment of the public," and there's no evidence the suspect's skivvies set off such a panic, the judge said.
Martinez could not be reached and his Legal Aid lawyer did not return calls for comment. The decision was issued last month."
dareh.gregorian@nypost.com
Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/bronx/crack_is_back_TBpsdZXuiM1zK9tQIAkmdM#ixzz0vALnjiy8
(http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/bronx/crack_is_back_TBpsdZXuiM1zK9tQIAkmdM)
"A Bronx judge has thrown out a summons issued against a Bronx man for wearing saggy pants, finding that "the Constitution still leaves some opportunity for people to be foolish if they so desire."
Judge Ruben Franco said that although Julio Martinez may have offended the fashion police with his low-hanging and underwear-exposing pants, his manner of dress didn't deserve a ticket from a cop.
"While most of us may consider it distasteful, and indeed foolish, to wear one's pants so low as to expose the underwear . . . people can dress as they please, wear anything, so long as they do not offend public order and decency," the judge wrote.
ASININE: New Yorkers like this one can wear their pants on the ground and fear only the fashion police -- not the city police.
Robert Kalfus
ASININE: New Yorkers like this one can wear their pants on the ground and fear only the fashion police -- not the city police.
Martinez was given his summons for disorderly conduct on April 20 of last year.
The summons by the unidentified police officer charged that Martinez had acted in a disorderly manner because he had "his pants down below his buttocks exposing underwear [and] potentially showing private parts."
There was no other reason listed for the ticket besides Martinez's pants, and Franco noted: "The issuance of this summons appears to be an attempt by one police officer to show his displeasure with a particular style of dress."
The officer has plenty of company -- the sloppy look has been the subject of derision from people ranging from Bill Cosby to President Obama, and the super-low rider has been banned in numerous towns across the country.
In New York, the boxers-baring look has been the subject of a targeted campaign by state Sen. Eric Adams of Brooklyn, who put up billboards urging youngsters to "Stop the Sag." He has said he doesn't want to criminalize saggy pants -- he just wants youngsters to know it's time to send the fashion trend the way of the legwarmer.
"You can raise your level of respect if you raise your pants," Adams said in a YouTube video.
The judge's decision said the "trend of wearing pants well below the waistline is believed to have its roots in this country's prison system where inmates are issued uniforms which are often too big and the wearing of belts is prohibited due to safety concerns."
While there have been efforts to outlaw the look around the country, Franco wrote, "New York has no such legislation."
That means in Martinez's case, the officer apparently overstepped his bounds by giving him a summons for disorderly conduct.
To meet that standard, the offensive conduct must be "public in nature and must cause inconvenience, annoyance, or alarm to a substantial segment of the public," and there's no evidence the suspect's skivvies set off such a panic, the judge said.
Martinez could not be reached and his Legal Aid lawyer did not return calls for comment. The decision was issued last month."
dareh.gregorian@nypost.com
Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/bronx/crack_is_back_TBpsdZXuiM1zK9tQIAkmdM#ixzz0vALnjiy8
(http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/bronx/crack_is_back_TBpsdZXuiM1zK9tQIAkmdM)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
today: san francisco food bank, city search, and VII for dinner.
tensions: the desire to go home mixed with the sadness of my last day with the BARM kids yesterday ("girl, you white as HELL!"), and my last day with so so many people coming up in the next two weeks.
god-things: the book of ephesians. it's great. having the message to read on and off really helps to shake up my own stagnation. sometimes i'm so tired i find myself reading through passages of the bible and just missing it. i'm almost overwhelmed by it and fatigue makes me grope around for something that will smack me around a little till i wake up. the funny little paper back copy of the message that we got at graduation(who knew!) has really been helpful there.
tensions: the desire to go home mixed with the sadness of my last day with the BARM kids yesterday ("girl, you white as HELL!"), and my last day with so so many people coming up in the next two weeks.
god-things: the book of ephesians. it's great. having the message to read on and off really helps to shake up my own stagnation. sometimes i'm so tired i find myself reading through passages of the bible and just missing it. i'm almost overwhelmed by it and fatigue makes me grope around for something that will smack me around a little till i wake up. the funny little paper back copy of the message that we got at graduation(who knew!) has really been helpful there.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
second to last
today my second to last group comes. well, hopefully. i definitely am hosting this week and next week and then there are only four groups on the schedule for my last week here so i don't know if i'm going to be hosting then.
it's funny that this is almost the end. i've been aching for home lately. i think that my sister's visit did it. she was a breath of vermont air and then i see pictures online of fresh earthy picnics and weddings...
now, don't get me wrong. i like it here a lot. oakland has tucked itself into a little place in my heart and will be there for a while. san francisco is fun, and i hope to return, but it hasn't attached itself in the same way. mostly my heart is stuck in the ministry sites. korean corp and little alex, BARM's spunky simon, and the directors are people i've learned so much from: jessica, chrystal, alexa, brother steve, sister marchelle. i know more now about ministry and urban work than i ever thought i would by the end of the summer.
and still, i'm ready to go home. i have a week in vermont before my next adventure. prayer would be nice. i want to utilize my time as best as i can. i'm a little afraid of my next urban adventure. i miss the hills and the lake and walks in the woods. i hope i've made a good choice. i'll have to soak it all in while i'm there for a week.
ok, ten minutes till showtime. i'm ready. i'm in my pink hosting shirt and my green skinny jeans (don't worry, it's tempered with my cozy plaid jacket - it's cold here!) hopefully they're funny and easy going and ready for an adventure!
it's funny that this is almost the end. i've been aching for home lately. i think that my sister's visit did it. she was a breath of vermont air and then i see pictures online of fresh earthy picnics and weddings...
now, don't get me wrong. i like it here a lot. oakland has tucked itself into a little place in my heart and will be there for a while. san francisco is fun, and i hope to return, but it hasn't attached itself in the same way. mostly my heart is stuck in the ministry sites. korean corp and little alex, BARM's spunky simon, and the directors are people i've learned so much from: jessica, chrystal, alexa, brother steve, sister marchelle. i know more now about ministry and urban work than i ever thought i would by the end of the summer.
and still, i'm ready to go home. i have a week in vermont before my next adventure. prayer would be nice. i want to utilize my time as best as i can. i'm a little afraid of my next urban adventure. i miss the hills and the lake and walks in the woods. i hope i've made a good choice. i'll have to soak it all in while i'm there for a week.
ok, ten minutes till showtime. i'm ready. i'm in my pink hosting shirt and my green skinny jeans (don't worry, it's tempered with my cozy plaid jacket - it's cold here!) hopefully they're funny and easy going and ready for an adventure!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Art
"Art is the thing having to do only with itself - the product of a successful attempt to make a work of art. Unfortunately, there are no examples of art, nor good reasons to think that it will ever exist. (Everything that has been made has been made with a purpose, everything with an end that exists outside that thing i.e., I want to sell this, or I want this to make me famous and loved, or I want this to make me whole, or worse,I want this to make others whole.) And yet we continue to write, paint, sculpt, and compose. Is this foolish of us?"
- Everything is Illuminated
- Everything is Illuminated
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
pain
this came in a random newsletter i got today:
"How do you deal with pain? I eat. My pain is all in my gut, where it doesn't belong, instead of in my heart, where it does belong.
Can we open our hearts to the pain? Can we embrace the beauty of our pain? Can we just allow ourselves to FEEL it? To "Be" with it? I think that's all we have to do, to deal with it, is to just be with it for a while. Not wallow in it. But let it tell us its messages, listen to it, and then more easily let it go."
it's an interesting thought. how do you deal with pain? i think that the author is right, there is beauty in pain, even pain that is so yucky you don't want to think about it at all.
beauty that has come out of pain in my life almost always manifests itself in relationships. i am always amazed by the people that are placed in my way who need to know about my pain in order to share their own. in order to help i need to embrace that it happened, right? i need to know it is there and "be" with it.
interesting. thoughts?
in other notes, as some of you know i am "off" this week. i don't have a group...but i do have work (yay 5am shower duty every day!).
Here are a few interesting things:
this beautiful blog let me know of a plan to make a wonderfully interesting bridge!
it's Jazz Age Dance Party week on The Sartorialst (scroll down for some lovely photos)
I am reading two (TWO!) splendid books. check them out:
Everything is Illuminated
The Peace Maker
i also JUST finished THIS book which you ALL absolutely positively MUST read!
keep in touch!
"How do you deal with pain? I eat. My pain is all in my gut, where it doesn't belong, instead of in my heart, where it does belong.
Can we open our hearts to the pain? Can we embrace the beauty of our pain? Can we just allow ourselves to FEEL it? To "Be" with it? I think that's all we have to do, to deal with it, is to just be with it for a while. Not wallow in it. But let it tell us its messages, listen to it, and then more easily let it go."
it's an interesting thought. how do you deal with pain? i think that the author is right, there is beauty in pain, even pain that is so yucky you don't want to think about it at all.
beauty that has come out of pain in my life almost always manifests itself in relationships. i am always amazed by the people that are placed in my way who need to know about my pain in order to share their own. in order to help i need to embrace that it happened, right? i need to know it is there and "be" with it.
interesting. thoughts?
in other notes, as some of you know i am "off" this week. i don't have a group...but i do have work (yay 5am shower duty every day!).
Here are a few interesting things:
this beautiful blog let me know of a plan to make a wonderfully interesting bridge!
it's Jazz Age Dance Party week on The Sartorialst (scroll down for some lovely photos)
I am reading two (TWO!) splendid books. check them out:
Everything is Illuminated
The Peace Maker
i also JUST finished THIS book which you ALL absolutely positively MUST read!
keep in touch!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
sunshine on a cloudy day
the bay has been cold and cloudy for the past few days. layers and hot tea have been in order. sometimes, although i love the bay, i feel like i've missed out on summer. we had a c-c-c-cold winter in massachusets and then spring in mass and ca, and then...more spring? it's hard to not want a little bit of the heat wave that a lot of you are getting.
my sister arrived on friday. safe and sound and weirded out by actually being in ca. we rode the BART (why is it SO expensive?), ate vegan food in the mission and then...then...WENT TO SEE WICKED!
friday afternoon, after conversing for a while with my 'rents i decided to go for it. they're covering her ticket for graduation and with $50 nose bleed seats it wasn't that bad. and it was beautiful. i'll leave it at that.
we also were in the very front row and got waved at by the young conductor. aside from my nerves about getting home late (waltzing down broakway in oak-town at 11:30pm), everything was wonderful ("simply wonderful - i love it so much it's part of my name!").
yesterday was santa cruz, green on-sale odwalla smoothies, and "babay mama" (watch it!).
today: church at 9, a 2-mile stroll to the health food store for E to locate some iron (she's feeling anemic), my meeting at 2, and then moving to harbor house where my group with arrive at 5. i'm glad to be moving back, although our new room arrangement here at BACC is simply splendid.
my sister arrived on friday. safe and sound and weirded out by actually being in ca. we rode the BART (why is it SO expensive?), ate vegan food in the mission and then...then...WENT TO SEE WICKED!
friday afternoon, after conversing for a while with my 'rents i decided to go for it. they're covering her ticket for graduation and with $50 nose bleed seats it wasn't that bad. and it was beautiful. i'll leave it at that.
we also were in the very front row and got waved at by the young conductor. aside from my nerves about getting home late (waltzing down broakway in oak-town at 11:30pm), everything was wonderful ("simply wonderful - i love it so much it's part of my name!").
yesterday was santa cruz, green on-sale odwalla smoothies, and "babay mama" (watch it!).
today: church at 9, a 2-mile stroll to the health food store for E to locate some iron (she's feeling anemic), my meeting at 2, and then moving to harbor house where my group with arrive at 5. i'm glad to be moving back, although our new room arrangement here at BACC is simply splendid.
Monday, July 5, 2010
before i begin i need to explode a little: MY SISTER IS COMING TO VISIT ON FRIDAY! she will be here for 10 days and will, i hope, have a wonderful time exploring my fair cities. due to the nature of my job, i will only be able to be with her during the weekends, on Wednesday night, and every night for dinner (sad). i've got some wonderful stuff planned though!
today i begin a new group. from rocky mountain colorado, they are loud, funny mountain people. their leader, S, is hilarious. he has been on 7 CSM trips, but this is the first trip for most of his students. they range from 14 - 18 years old and there are two 19-year-old leaders. this is my first group that i've hosted all by my self. it's just me and my group of 13. control-freak that i am, i'm actually excited to be the boss of everyone (suprise!).
today we are going to St. Vincent De Paul's Dining Room and then to Berkley to do an activity called Meet a Need.
Prayers for safety still in oakland.
today i begin a new group. from rocky mountain colorado, they are loud, funny mountain people. their leader, S, is hilarious. he has been on 7 CSM trips, but this is the first trip for most of his students. they range from 14 - 18 years old and there are two 19-year-old leaders. this is my first group that i've hosted all by my self. it's just me and my group of 13. control-freak that i am, i'm actually excited to be the boss of everyone (suprise!).
today we are going to St. Vincent De Paul's Dining Room and then to Berkley to do an activity called Meet a Need.
Prayers for safety still in oakland.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
please pray
i know this is biased, but this is also happening now. this article was posted 20 minutes ago. what a heavy weight. pray for safety: mine, my group's, the children of oakland that we work with, the angry protesters, and the police.
Oscar Grant's killer on trial
Alessandro Tinonga reports on the final days in the trial of former BART police officer Johannes Mehserle--and what comes next.
July 1, 2010
Protesters demand justice for Oscar Grant at a demonstration in Los Angeles (Youth Radio)Protesters demand justice for Oscar Grant at a demonstration in Los Angeles (Youth Radio)
FINAL EVIDENCE was presented in a Los Angeles courtroom on June 29 at the trial of former BART police officer Johannes Mehserle, who shot and killed Oscar Grant III, an unarmed African American passenger, on New Year's Day 2009.
The defense rested its case with the testimony of Thomas Rogers, a forensic pathologist with the Alameda County Coroner's Office, who performed the autopsy on Grant's body. In graphic detail, he described how the bullet entered Oscar's torso and penetrated his left lung.
Rogers testified that the bullet had moved from left to right through Grant's body. Defense attorney Michael Rains claimed that the wounds indicated that Oscar's shoulder was coming up from the platform. Throughout the trial, the defense has argued that Oscar was resisting arrest when he was shot.
Tashina Manyak, a reporter for the CaliforniaBeat.org, wrote that the testimony was emotionally devastating for the family. The father of Grant's friends, Jack Bryson, had walked out of the courtroom. Oscar's mother, Wanda Johnson, "began to sob uncontrollably, prompting Judge Robert Perry to call a short recess. Johnson was later transported to an Los Angeles hospital after collapsing outside the courthouse."
This is the first time a police officer has been tried for murder in California for a killing committed while on duty.
In the early morning hours of New Year's Day, Mehserle and other officers pulled Oscar and his friends off the BART train. After they detained Oscar on the BART platform for several minutes, the officers started handcuffing Oscar and his friends. While officers held Oscar facedown on the ground with his arms behind his back, Mehserle took his pistol out of his holster, pointed it at Oscar's back and fired.
Prosecutors argued that Mehserle intended to shoot Oscar in the back. Defense attorneys maintained that the officer mistook his pistol for a Taser gun and that Oscar resisted arrest. However, the videos that captured the incident are damaging to the defense and its case.
In the videos, Mehserle and his fellow officers come off as aggressive. The footage contradicts the original reports and statements of the officers. In addition, their stories have changed many times in the last 18 months.
Last Friday, Mehserle testified on the stand. In a tearful display, he stated that he "didn't intend to shoot Mr. Grant; I meant to Tase him." He claimed that he shouted, "I'm going to Tase him," when he unholstered his weapon.
When the prosecution asked why none of the video footage picked up his alleged shouting or why he never told anyone it was an accident, Mehserle said he didn't know. Mehserle's close friends and fellow officers testified in court this week that he at no point said the shooting was an accident in the days following the murder.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
THE OUTCOME of the trial remains uncertain. There are no African Americans on the jury; seven are white and five are Latino. Over the course of jury selection, the defense dismissed several African Americans.
Members of Grant's family feel that the challenges to potential jurors were based on race. Tracy Cooper, Oscar's aunt, said, "I think [defense attorney] Rains did it because he didn't want one Black mother looking at another Black mother."
Furthermore, three very important pieces of evidence for the prosecution were ruled to be inadmissible.
The first was evidence that one of the officers, Tony Pirone, called Grant a "bitch-ass n-," about a minute before the shooting.
Second was testimony by Oscar's girlfriend, Sophina Mesa, who spoke to him on a cell phone while he was being detained on the platform that night. She could have testified that Oscar sounded nervous and scared shortly before the shooting. Prosecutor David Stein said, "If Mr. Grant was 'nervous' and 'scared' after just being beaten by the police for no reason, it was less likely that he would resist arrest minutes later when he was shot by the defendant."
Lastly, a synchronized compilation of videos of the shooting was barred. The defense argued that it would cause jurors to "incorrectly conclude that both of Grant's hands were behind and in the vicinity of the small of his back at the time the shot was fired." This is exactly what occurred and what is shown clearly in the video evidence.
As the trial comes to a close, the Oakland police department has been preparing for a potential uprising if Mehserle is acquitted. The local media in the East Bay air reports almost every night on how the city and state is preparing for a "violent response."
For almost two weeks, law enforcement agencies have been running drills. Hundreds of officers staged a practice drill near the Port of Oakland. The Oakland police have made several assurances that the department would be working to protect property and local businesses. Police are using anti-Mehserle graffiti around Oakland as an excuse to be aggressive in their preparations for post-verdict activities.
It's impossible to predict the response to the verdict. What's certain is that the killing of Oscar Grant continues to stoke the anger of many youth of color who have experienced racism and police brutality.
During Mehserle's testimony, Timothy Killings, a student at Laney Community College in downtown Oakland, stood up in the court and said, "If you really wanted to cry, you should have apologized to Oscar Grant's mom. You killed her son [and you haven't said anything to her] but you're going to wait until you get on the stand and then start crying?"
The jury could begin its deliberations by Thursday afternoon and could reach a verdict as soon as July 2.
http://socialistworker.org/2010/07/01/oscar-grants-killer-on-trial
Oscar Grant's killer on trial
Alessandro Tinonga reports on the final days in the trial of former BART police officer Johannes Mehserle--and what comes next.
July 1, 2010
Protesters demand justice for Oscar Grant at a demonstration in Los Angeles (Youth Radio)Protesters demand justice for Oscar Grant at a demonstration in Los Angeles (Youth Radio)
FINAL EVIDENCE was presented in a Los Angeles courtroom on June 29 at the trial of former BART police officer Johannes Mehserle, who shot and killed Oscar Grant III, an unarmed African American passenger, on New Year's Day 2009.
The defense rested its case with the testimony of Thomas Rogers, a forensic pathologist with the Alameda County Coroner's Office, who performed the autopsy on Grant's body. In graphic detail, he described how the bullet entered Oscar's torso and penetrated his left lung.
Rogers testified that the bullet had moved from left to right through Grant's body. Defense attorney Michael Rains claimed that the wounds indicated that Oscar's shoulder was coming up from the platform. Throughout the trial, the defense has argued that Oscar was resisting arrest when he was shot.
Tashina Manyak, a reporter for the CaliforniaBeat.org, wrote that the testimony was emotionally devastating for the family. The father of Grant's friends, Jack Bryson, had walked out of the courtroom. Oscar's mother, Wanda Johnson, "began to sob uncontrollably, prompting Judge Robert Perry to call a short recess. Johnson was later transported to an Los Angeles hospital after collapsing outside the courthouse."
This is the first time a police officer has been tried for murder in California for a killing committed while on duty.
In the early morning hours of New Year's Day, Mehserle and other officers pulled Oscar and his friends off the BART train. After they detained Oscar on the BART platform for several minutes, the officers started handcuffing Oscar and his friends. While officers held Oscar facedown on the ground with his arms behind his back, Mehserle took his pistol out of his holster, pointed it at Oscar's back and fired.
Prosecutors argued that Mehserle intended to shoot Oscar in the back. Defense attorneys maintained that the officer mistook his pistol for a Taser gun and that Oscar resisted arrest. However, the videos that captured the incident are damaging to the defense and its case.
In the videos, Mehserle and his fellow officers come off as aggressive. The footage contradicts the original reports and statements of the officers. In addition, their stories have changed many times in the last 18 months.
Last Friday, Mehserle testified on the stand. In a tearful display, he stated that he "didn't intend to shoot Mr. Grant; I meant to Tase him." He claimed that he shouted, "I'm going to Tase him," when he unholstered his weapon.
When the prosecution asked why none of the video footage picked up his alleged shouting or why he never told anyone it was an accident, Mehserle said he didn't know. Mehserle's close friends and fellow officers testified in court this week that he at no point said the shooting was an accident in the days following the murder.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
THE OUTCOME of the trial remains uncertain. There are no African Americans on the jury; seven are white and five are Latino. Over the course of jury selection, the defense dismissed several African Americans.
Members of Grant's family feel that the challenges to potential jurors were based on race. Tracy Cooper, Oscar's aunt, said, "I think [defense attorney] Rains did it because he didn't want one Black mother looking at another Black mother."
Furthermore, three very important pieces of evidence for the prosecution were ruled to be inadmissible.
The first was evidence that one of the officers, Tony Pirone, called Grant a "bitch-ass n-," about a minute before the shooting.
Second was testimony by Oscar's girlfriend, Sophina Mesa, who spoke to him on a cell phone while he was being detained on the platform that night. She could have testified that Oscar sounded nervous and scared shortly before the shooting. Prosecutor David Stein said, "If Mr. Grant was 'nervous' and 'scared' after just being beaten by the police for no reason, it was less likely that he would resist arrest minutes later when he was shot by the defendant."
Lastly, a synchronized compilation of videos of the shooting was barred. The defense argued that it would cause jurors to "incorrectly conclude that both of Grant's hands were behind and in the vicinity of the small of his back at the time the shot was fired." This is exactly what occurred and what is shown clearly in the video evidence.
As the trial comes to a close, the Oakland police department has been preparing for a potential uprising if Mehserle is acquitted. The local media in the East Bay air reports almost every night on how the city and state is preparing for a "violent response."
For almost two weeks, law enforcement agencies have been running drills. Hundreds of officers staged a practice drill near the Port of Oakland. The Oakland police have made several assurances that the department would be working to protect property and local businesses. Police are using anti-Mehserle graffiti around Oakland as an excuse to be aggressive in their preparations for post-verdict activities.
It's impossible to predict the response to the verdict. What's certain is that the killing of Oscar Grant continues to stoke the anger of many youth of color who have experienced racism and police brutality.
During Mehserle's testimony, Timothy Killings, a student at Laney Community College in downtown Oakland, stood up in the court and said, "If you really wanted to cry, you should have apologized to Oscar Grant's mom. You killed her son [and you haven't said anything to her] but you're going to wait until you get on the stand and then start crying?"
The jury could begin its deliberations by Thursday afternoon and could reach a verdict as soon as July 2.
http://socialistworker.org/2010/07/01/oscar-grants-killer-on-trial
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
1/2 way
half way through a new week: kids from washington state. i'm living at harbor house with one other host so it's a more comfy and calm living situation (although the showers are gnarly)...
taking the kids today to the san fran food bank the kids really like working at that place. it's hard work that gives results quickly. tomorrow we head off to funk town farm to help with a painting job. i'm excited to meet the people heading up such great work!
prayers: for a grace-filled spirit. this group has a lot a lot of goofiness that they get on by doing things like throwing underwear out of the housing site window or beeping their horns at each other no matter what area of town we're in. of course then i get my nasty attitude on when i'm talking about them later. i need to pray for grace and peace in my attitude.
once again, i miss you: everyone! email/facebook/write
taking the kids today to the san fran food bank the kids really like working at that place. it's hard work that gives results quickly. tomorrow we head off to funk town farm to help with a painting job. i'm excited to meet the people heading up such great work!
prayers: for a grace-filled spirit. this group has a lot a lot of goofiness that they get on by doing things like throwing underwear out of the housing site window or beeping their horns at each other no matter what area of town we're in. of course then i get my nasty attitude on when i'm talking about them later. i need to pray for grace and peace in my attitude.
once again, i miss you: everyone! email/facebook/write
Friday, June 18, 2010
viva mexico!
yesterday i took my troups on an urban plunge to the mission district. this name came from the manual, but all of the questions and the competition of boys against girls was of my design. all the great planning, exciting questions, latin flare and teenage competition couldn't compare to the fiesta that awaited us. ten minutes after arriving on mission mexico won their world cup game against france an the street exploded. for the full hour an a half that we were there the streets were filled with people shouting and whistling. cars drove by continuously with their horns beeping and huge mexican flags flying from their windows and sunroofs. my day kept getting better from there, but our afternoon fiesta was by far the zestiest thing that has happened to me in san francisco. check out pictures on facebook for images from our mural walk.
Monday, June 14, 2010
50-50
this week we have a group of 50 students from colorado too! 45 students and 10 adult leaders. the basement is packed. i am about to head off for my first service project with my 10 person group: st. vincent's day home. we'll spend the morning working with the kids there and then head over to the golden gate for a prayer walk.
pray for me this week as someone very special encouraged me to pray that i will know god as jehovah shammah, the god who is with us. that he will be in my burning bush and show me that he has a plan for me this summer, a direction i am going.
well, i'm off! keep in touch my friends. i miss you.
pray for me this week as someone very special encouraged me to pray that i will know god as jehovah shammah, the god who is with us. that he will be in my burning bush and show me that he has a plan for me this summer, a direction i am going.
well, i'm off! keep in touch my friends. i miss you.
Friday, June 11, 2010
when i'm up at 5am
...and listening to Sigur Ros
i did showers at 5 this morning. we walked the dragging girls down the long hall to the women's transitional housing and let them in to shower before the residents needed to shower for work. i have breakfast duty at 7:30 so going back to bed wasn't really going to happen.
i did a little bible reading (i need more structure here) and caught up on some writing and drawing (i need to keep both of these things up this summer!). then i checked a few of my favorite blog-a-logs. if you want to know what i follow on a every-three-or-four-day basis and why, here they are:
For Energy and a Big Beautiful Smile Every Time:
Color me Katie
For Beauty:
The Sartorialist
For Inspiration (how cool is that garbage hotel?):
Art/Inhabitat
i did showers at 5 this morning. we walked the dragging girls down the long hall to the women's transitional housing and let them in to shower before the residents needed to shower for work. i have breakfast duty at 7:30 so going back to bed wasn't really going to happen.
i did a little bible reading (i need more structure here) and caught up on some writing and drawing (i need to keep both of these things up this summer!). then i checked a few of my favorite blog-a-logs. if you want to know what i follow on a every-three-or-four-day basis and why, here they are:
For Energy and a Big Beautiful Smile Every Time:
Color me Katie
For Beauty:
The Sartorialist
For Inspiration (how cool is that garbage hotel?):
Art/Inhabitat
my last day
my group leaves tomorrow morning. one week down tonight! no getting lost, no meltdowns, and lots of laughs. i had a hard-core group of mountain kids from colorado. energetic and straight-forward, they plowed through the week with gusto. we continuously amazed our sites with their work ethic and stamina. i was continuously amazed by how much they eat! three huge meals a day plus 5 granola bars, chips, another sandwich and juice three or four times in between. they're skinny mountain kids the appetite of a pack of wolves!
last night we talked about works and salvation. liz read from ephesians and james and we stirred up a little discussion. the honesty of the kids was lovely. many of them have been on mission trips before. last year they went to LA and the year before a few of them went to chicago. they know how to work. but they're very fuzzy on the idea of salvation and of jesus: his life and works and its relationship to us. there were no rote sunday school answers. i asked them, if they didn't need to do this trip to be saved, why do it?
"we do good things because we're good people and i guess that's what good people do" one boy said.
"i do it because i like to travel and think why not help people while getting to do something i like" another guy added.
"to help people."
"because we should."
then what does christianity have to do with what you're doing?
"i think," one girl said, "that we need to be an example and show people that christians can help people too".
none of them mentioned calling or direction from the bible. none of them said that we had been told to do anything. as i sat and looked around the room i realized that these kids, while being well practiced in service, hadn't been fed the bible like so many of the groups that we get. they didn't know the "right" answers and really just threw out what they thought. it was so frank and exposing.
i read from ephesisans about works being the outpouring of our love for god from his love for us and left them with encouragement and a bunch of candles for H's birthday cake.
this summer is going to be a learning experience for sure.
i'm excited.
last night we talked about works and salvation. liz read from ephesians and james and we stirred up a little discussion. the honesty of the kids was lovely. many of them have been on mission trips before. last year they went to LA and the year before a few of them went to chicago. they know how to work. but they're very fuzzy on the idea of salvation and of jesus: his life and works and its relationship to us. there were no rote sunday school answers. i asked them, if they didn't need to do this trip to be saved, why do it?
"we do good things because we're good people and i guess that's what good people do" one boy said.
"i do it because i like to travel and think why not help people while getting to do something i like" another guy added.
"to help people."
"because we should."
then what does christianity have to do with what you're doing?
"i think," one girl said, "that we need to be an example and show people that christians can help people too".
none of them mentioned calling or direction from the bible. none of them said that we had been told to do anything. as i sat and looked around the room i realized that these kids, while being well practiced in service, hadn't been fed the bible like so many of the groups that we get. they didn't know the "right" answers and really just threw out what they thought. it was so frank and exposing.
i read from ephesisans about works being the outpouring of our love for god from his love for us and left them with encouragement and a bunch of candles for H's birthday cake.
this summer is going to be a learning experience for sure.
i'm excited.
Monday, June 7, 2010
just quickly:
i am heading into the city with my first group this morning! we depart at 8am which means it's 7 and i'm wrestling with our finickky coffee maker. i am tempted to just go for tea, but i know it'll come back to bite me at about 2pm...
we're off to the food bank, me, L, and our group for Colorado. they're my kind of people. crunchy, you know? thank god!
anyway pray this week:
that god would give me patience
that we would all learn: that we'd be a bunch of sponges and just soak it all in!
that we would be a blessing to those around us all week
we're off to the food bank, me, L, and our group for Colorado. they're my kind of people. crunchy, you know? thank god!
anyway pray this week:
that god would give me patience
that we would all learn: that we'd be a bunch of sponges and just soak it all in!
that we would be a blessing to those around us all week
Saturday, June 5, 2010
i get up early
most days i wake up after our two early birds but before the other six wake up (this will change when next week i have a group and have to get up at 6am regularly). i either read my bible, go for a walk, or catch up with things online. i watched this video this morning, thanks to my good friend C who always posts the best things. it's interesting and makes me think of me, my family, the kids i'm working with here...and everything pretty much...
Thursday, June 3, 2010
the people
we met O on a bench in people's park . we were sent out in the park to practice one of our activities: meeting people to share lunch with, to hear their stories.
O moved to berkley in junior high, the year before the park riots broke out. he was part of a cinematography class at his high school and was sent out by his teacher to film something happening in the neighborhood. his neighborhood was the park. he wandered out with his camera and videotaped the police spraying the crowds with tear gas and pepper. it wasn't long before he joined the crowds.
"they would slash our knees" he told us, smacking my knee and grimacing. "when they get you in the knees you have to go down!"
O left berkley eventually. the park didn't become the family center that they all were hoping it would be. he traveled around, worked for an antique dealer, had five children and eventually moved back to berkley. he is now homeless, the sufferer of menial social security service and multiple heart attacks. he spends much of his time in the park teaching bongo drums and the art of simple living and dreaming. the park is home to "crazy people" doing "hard drugs and other crap". hippies roam, make love, and smoke and food not bombs drops in every day to serve a vegetarian dinner. O just helped with a musical celebration of the park's 41st anniversary. O told us that we are our own hope. "i heard once," he said, "that everything a man needs is found within himself".
"tell your friends" he said, "tell them that if they want a future they have to make it!"
future friends is a scary activity. we pair up, step into a park and find someone to share our double lunch with. it feels intimidating and invasive for all of five minutes. and then the truth comes out: people love to talk about themselves. look around, ask a question, and be interested and you will be part of someone's story that lets you into another beautiful life.
O moved to berkley in junior high, the year before the park riots broke out. he was part of a cinematography class at his high school and was sent out by his teacher to film something happening in the neighborhood. his neighborhood was the park. he wandered out with his camera and videotaped the police spraying the crowds with tear gas and pepper. it wasn't long before he joined the crowds.
"they would slash our knees" he told us, smacking my knee and grimacing. "when they get you in the knees you have to go down!"
O left berkley eventually. the park didn't become the family center that they all were hoping it would be. he traveled around, worked for an antique dealer, had five children and eventually moved back to berkley. he is now homeless, the sufferer of menial social security service and multiple heart attacks. he spends much of his time in the park teaching bongo drums and the art of simple living and dreaming. the park is home to "crazy people" doing "hard drugs and other crap". hippies roam, make love, and smoke and food not bombs drops in every day to serve a vegetarian dinner. O just helped with a musical celebration of the park's 41st anniversary. O told us that we are our own hope. "i heard once," he said, "that everything a man needs is found within himself".
"tell your friends" he said, "tell them that if they want a future they have to make it!"
future friends is a scary activity. we pair up, step into a park and find someone to share our double lunch with. it feels intimidating and invasive for all of five minutes. and then the truth comes out: people love to talk about themselves. look around, ask a question, and be interested and you will be part of someone's story that lets you into another beautiful life.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
vulnerability is hard. to roll out of bed every morning in a room filled with 9 just-waking girls, to tip-toe through my face-washing and oatmeal-making alone is safe to me. it's still quiet hours and i don't have to talk.
i am an extrovert. i come up with E on the myers briggs scale. i like to talk and laugh and feed of of a room full of good people energy. i am not vulnerable. i am learning that extroversion doesn't mean having the ability to share my feelings. this week we all told our life stories. we also are all praying for each other and it's exciting to think that through this we might actually get really close. pray for me to be vulnerable.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
hello goodbye hello goodbye!
they say oakland will always be warmer than san francisco. they're right so far. every day in oakland is sunny and a balmy 75-80 degrees. drive down 8th onto the freeway, over the bay bridge and into the city and it's a different story. let's just say i'm glad i brought my fleece.
i'm glad i brought my energy too. if this summer is going to be one of quickly made and deeply held friendships like i hope it well then i'm going to need to stay charged. 7am mornings that run through both cities from work site to work site will be rough. so far my energy is kept up by:
lovely morning quiet times. i'm taking advantage of my inner east coast clock!
sunshine
good conversations
and, as you can see by the picture: delicious ethnic food many times a week. hopefully there will be something up on the food blog soon about the oakland vegan scene. i just have to catch my breath!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
tomorrow begins my adventure to the west coast. i'm spending the summer working in san francisco. i will keep blogging when i can (my Boo Radley blog will be an events and thoughts blog and my vgan one will keep up with west coast food). i'll try to put pictures, thoughts, and ideas up here so keep in touch!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
as i begin
graduation is on staturday. as i begin to leave, all of the thoughts and worries that have been held at bay by the whirlwind of this semester are tip-toeing in.
i move to san francisco next wednesday, and then, hopefully, baltimore in the fall. as i stumble on the edge of something new, and leave behind all of this knowing and comfort, i hope to keep you updated here.
stay in touch.
mailing address coming soon.
i move to san francisco next wednesday, and then, hopefully, baltimore in the fall. as i stumble on the edge of something new, and leave behind all of this knowing and comfort, i hope to keep you updated here.
stay in touch.
mailing address coming soon.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Holy Water
The Mantle
I first knew its mystery, half-filling
a jelly jar beside St. Mary
and her angels (torn from a
prayer book, and pasted on the wall).
Sister
I find myself wanting
to save her tissues damp
as they are, so rarely
does she cry and I, guiding
priest behind the alter
lift up my jar to catch
the angel tears.
I first knew its mystery, half-filling
a jelly jar beside St. Mary
and her angels (torn from a
prayer book, and pasted on the wall).
Sister
I find myself wanting
to save her tissues damp
as they are, so rarely
does she cry and I, guiding
priest behind the alter
lift up my jar to catch
the angel tears.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
from the eco-blog, a peice by sanjinez
sometimes i see these pictures and am in awe of the creative genius - and sometimes i am just saddened. not by the artists, obviously, but by the loss of our planet as we know it. what they are saying couldn't be more true and the truth couldn't be more sad.
there are times that i step outside and feel the grass (or snow) beneath my feet and just stand for a moment, drinking it in through my pores - these earth growths and sky gifts...how long will we know them?
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